“You are not alone.”

“I feel alone.”

“I know. But you’re not.”

Baymax & Hiro, Big Hero 6

The blessing (and challenge) of supporting students under stress

Paul’s letter to the Galatians, after he spells out some quite hard-hitting truths through chapters 1-5, turns to practical applications with these words – “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ” (6:2). The blessing of campus ministry is being able to walk alongside students in a critical part of their life; moving on from the regimented nature of high school, adjusting to the balance of full-time study alongside potential part-time work and familial responsibilities, and yet again for some learning how to be self-sufficient as they move away from their family and live independently.

However, there is one challenge – you cannot walk alongside them in everything; particularly, you cannot literally sit with them as they complete their final exams at the conclusion of each semester (whilst I’m sure they would thoroughly enjoy that, at times). So something I’ve been reflecting on in my time on staff is how we can walk alongside students when they’ve disappeared off campus, and when they’re going through tasks where it’s just them, their exam paper, and a supervisor making sure they don’t cheat.

Ultimately, I think good staff-student support can be boiled down into three key elements: Prayer, presence, and patience.

1. The Power of Prayer

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful” – Colossians 4:2

“Rejoice always, pray continually” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” – Romans 12:12

How often the Scriptures call us, in our own joys and afflictions, to come before the Throne of God and lay all our thoughts, emotions, and plans, at His feet. This prayerful heart posture is similarly not to be neglected when walking alongside students in exams. When we find ourselves in seasons of intense and focused preparation for a singular task, such as exams, we find our confidence in performance is tied to the time and effort in preparation. However, it’s helpful to remind students that, even though it may seem that they take these exams by themselves, all they do is powered and enabled by the One who gives them strength, intellect, and perseverance to be at university to take these exams. Praying for students, in both their presence and their absence, commits them to the Lord and His faithful care.

2. The Power of Presence

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” – Psalm 23:4

Have you ever had a moment where you have been distressed about something, someone has done something nice but completely unrelated, and it created an intensely emotional response? This human experience speaks to how, even when we don’t exactly know the details of what someone else is going through, showing up for others means more than the actions themselves ever do. The best thing that Job’s three friends did for him was show up and sit in the dust alongside him for seven days and seven nights (Job 2:11, 13). You may not be able to sit with them in the darkness of the exam hall, but bringing the light and turning up in the days around it can make all the difference – a coffee, a word of encouragement from the Scriptures, or even a listening ear as they debrief how the exam questions were completely different to the practice exam.

3. The practicality of patience

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” – Hebrews 10:24-25

Student ministry, like all ministry, involves walking alongside people who, despite their best intentions, are inherently human. This is particularly visible as students approach exam season; as stress levels increase and assessment deadlines loom, they can delay, cancel, or forget to complete assigned tasks. We often see that in the midst of stress or failure, we can retreat from relationships out of fear or conflict avoidance. This is particularly dangerous when it spills over into other areas of life, where students completely retreat socially or familially. In these situations, it’s particularly important to extend grace when accidents happen or mistakes are made, as well as to encourage students to continue investing in their relationships with family and friends, finding their identity as a child of God by Christ’s sacrifice, not their potential exam results.

Carrying one another

After a hectic semester full of lectures, tutorials, small groups, Public Meetings, casual work, group assignments, in-class quizzes, and assignments, students are weary and tired leading into exams. They can see the light at the end of the tunnel, those last 2 weeks before they get six weeks or nearly three months away from classes. Supporting students in exams is costly – it asks you to pray for them when they need it, to show up when you yourself may also be weary from your own load, to be patient and flexible as deadlines get missed or lost in communication. We may not be able to carry that weight for them, but we can carry their situation before the Lord Jesus, who is in the throne room in Heaven, interceding on our behalf at the right hand of the Father.

“I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” 

“Then carry me, Sam.”

Sam & Frodo, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King